My husband and I were working together on our monthly household budget recently. This is a time when we go over our bills and after they are paid we decide what to do with any leftover money. He suggested we invest in a recent business venture he had learned about online. Immediately, I felt my temperature rising. Did someone adjust the heat in the room? I looked down at my hand which held the pen I’d been using to take notes. My fingers were clenched together. I suddenly felt very tense.
I took a few deep breathes. You see, when I hear my husband say the words invest and business venture those are triggers for me. A trigger is defined on the website PsychCentral as:
A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. Triggers are very personal; different things trigger different people. The survivor may begin to avoid situations and stimuli that she/he thinks triggered the flashback.
Those words may sound harmless to you. Shouldn’t a married couple of 22 years be able to have a conversation about finances without problems? However, for me those words brought up memories of a time when we had bought in to one of his investment ideas and we ended up owing more than we invested. It was a very stressful time in our marriage and I never wanted to return to that type of situation again. At that time, I didn’t feel like I could trust his financial decision making.
Trust is a key component in any long-term relationship. It can make or break marriages, business relationships, parent/child relationships, and even friendships. Here are 3 ways it can affect a person severely:
Physical symptoms – When we live or must interact with someone we don’t trust it can affect our body. Clients often report high blood pressure rates, tightness in the chest, over or under eating, and migraines. These are serious symptoms that should not be disregarded.
Anxiety - Clients who report trust issues often experience anxiety and paranoia. They are constantly questioning the other person’s motives and/or their own judgement.
Isolation – Having difficulty trusting others can lead a person to isolate themselves to avoid feeling the pain and disappointment of dealing with others may bring.
You can break free of these feeling and conditions in your life. It often takes a willingness to do self-reflection and to improve your communication skills. There are 4 techniques I encourage anyone experience trust issues to start working on to improve trust in their lives.
Recognize Your Triggers: Take some time and become familiar with what triggers your trust issues. These can be anything specific to your situation. For example, seeing a spouse who has cheated utilizing social media or finding cigarettes in a teen’s bedroom who promised to stop smoking.
Pay Attention to Physical Symptoms: Headaches, high blood pressure, migraines, and stomach problems are all come symptoms for people experiencing trust issues. These are serious symptoms and no one should have to live with them continuously. Talk to your primary care provider and/or seek the help of a mental health therapist.
Relaxation: Relaxation helps with any stressful situation. Deep breathing and exercise can be done anywhere. You can also learn about more intense relaxation techniques from a mental health therapist.
Communication: Communication can be the key to dealing with trust issues. Learning how to express you feeling to the person you feel you don’t trust in a product manner and being willing to listen to their opinion can lead to healing trust in a relationship.
If you are experiencing trust issues and would like to consult with a therapist about your concerns please feel free to call Path To Hope Counseling. Call today to make your appointment, 919-618-6526 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.